Circling the Drain, doctor's language for someone expected to die soon, and other such gems used by them are falling out of fashion because of increased litigation the need to explain what they mean in Court.
Other delights which you may or may not want to see on the notes of your nearest and dearest include:
GLM - Good looking Mum
GPO - Good for Parts Only
TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy
UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury
NFN - Normal for Norfolk
FLK - Funny looking kid
GROLIES Guardian Reader Of Low Intelligence in Ethnic Skirt
TTFO - an expletive expression roughly translated as "Told To Go Away"
TTR - Tea Time Review
LOBNH - Lights On But Nobody Home
CNS-QNS - Central Nervous System - Quantity Not Sufficient
DBI - Dirt Bag Index (the number of tattoos multiplied by the number of missing teeth to give an estimate of the number of days since the patient last bathed)
PFO - (drunken) Fell Over
PGT - Patient Got Thumped
Digging for Worms - varicose vein surgery
Departure lounge - geriatric ward
Handbag positive - confused patient (usually elderly lady) lying on hospital bed clutching handbag
Woolworth's Test - Anaesthetic term (if you can imagine patient shopping in Woolies, it's safe to give a general anaesthetic)
pumpkin positive - an implication that a penlight shone into the patient's mouth would encounter a brain so small that the whole head would light up.
Apparently one doctor who had scribbled TTFO on a patient's notes was asked by a judge what the acronym meant. it was quickly translated as 'To take fluids orally'.
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